Eating a Watermelon 101:

Start with a watermelon you've obliterated with a melon-baller. If you're a melon slice kind of person, disregard all information listed below and go to The Pioneer Woman's website and browse around for a good laugh or a useful cooking tip or recipe.

Next, give your offspring said melon-baller and shoo them out the back door; this is messy business. It's very helpful to have something comfortable to sit on, but if you only have a stoop, it will do nicely. It appears that no instructions are necessary after handing over half of the watermelon and the melon-baller. They seem to know how to put 2 and 2 together when food is involved.

There's a lot of juicy goodness in the middle of a scooped watermelon. Don't let it go to waste!

I knew those straws would come in handy for something other than craft projects.

When your husband asks you why the offspring got half of a watermelon and he didn't, kindly remind him that there are 2 halves and hand him the other when you're finished obliterating it with a melon-baller.